My Wieght Loss Challange

OK - So I rarely post two posts in one day - but I am going to today. I've had a heck of a time with myself lately. My self esteem has been at an all time low. Regardless of what my husband thinks. I love him to pieces - but I want to feel better about myself. And ever time I tell myself I am going to, I get side tracked, or have a bad day physically or mentally - and then I never get back on track again. I fall off the wagon - and don't get back up. I really need to stop doing this - and with summer coming on - There is no excuse! No snow, won't be cold weather for much longer. I have no reason to get off my a** and get some weight off.

Before I started having children, I was a size 6. VERY fit and very tone. I was fresh out of Military Academy - PT ever morning whooped my but into shape and I looked FANTASTIC! I still had fairly low self esteem - and believe it or not, thought I was fat - due to growing up being a big girl until the year before this photo. Then I got pregnant. Went from a size 6 to a 26 in less then a month during my 8th month of pregnancy - due to toxemia. And I haven't been less then a size 18 since. In this photo - I weighed in at 118. I look back now and think WOW - I was beautiful.

What I wouldn't give to be that small again. I never was one of those women who was all about me - or used my beauty to get what I want. That probably stems from growing up not having that privilege.

One of the photos that did me in, and made me realize how fat I had become was this one. I love this photo, don't get me wrong (which is great, cuz I hate most photos of myself). But wow am I fat! Jeesh. I'm tall, so I know I will never be 100 pounds, and I don't want to look anorexic. At this point I'd even be happy being as big as I am if I were tone. I mean look at women such as Queen Latifah - she's GORGEOUS - and she's a large woman. But she's tone - in shape. This is what I want. I will forever be 'wide' due to my hips after having kids. That's fine with me. But I want to be fit. I want to be tone. I want to be able to keep up with my children, and have fun, and not feel like a cow because I cant. Or because it hurts to bend over. Or because my fat is so big that ppl mistake me for being pregnant, and I can't even see my damn feet!

Okay - done ranting. However - here is my challenge. I know its nothing major - but I'm supposed to do things I can handle with the Fibro according to my doc. I am going to do my best to lose at least 4 pounds per month using the Wii Fit. Yoga and aerobics. And then I will incorporate Strength training to tone myself back up. I currently weigh 297 (not too many months ago I was way over 300, so that is great). I will weigh myself in once per month, on the first weekend of each month. Completely nude so I have no clothes in the weight.

I'd take any support I can get! Family, friends, only acquaintances. You name it. This is going to take a ton of support, as my willpower is SHOT to hell. During this whole adventure - I am also looking more into Wicca beliefs and ways. I've talked to numerous friends who practice. And who have found themselves more at peace then they have ever been prior to Wicca lifestyle. I am hoping that in the end. This will be the result for me. It is something I've been interested in for years. And finally getting the mentality to pursue it. I feel I am ready to take my life to the next step and bring peace to myself in may different ways. Happiness has come to me, throughout my entire life. I can't wait to see where the next road takes me!

Also, I will take any suggestions you have to give! Wish me luck!!